"Are you sure you're okay?"
People want to be there; I get that. But I also feel that if I were ever to tell the people that I am closest with what I'm actually thinking, they would freak out. Why do I really not want a relationship? The reason I give them: I'm too busy and relationships take time. The real reason: I could never trust a guy in a relationship to stay with me because I couldn't believe that they would ever want to be with me. I would never be able to comprehend what someone could see in me that would make them want to stay more than a night.
How could someone ever look at me the same knowing that at my core, I'm so deeply broken? Eventually they would give up, knowing that they can't fix this. So, sure, you're here for me, and i'm not okay, but you will never know how bad.
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