Legs look like they might be shrinking, but that is always an optical illusion, for they fan out into a blob an soon as they reach solid ground. It's as if they're mocking me - "go ahead, try and think you're doing better, think that eating one meal each day is working, but this disgusting growth will always mock."

Last night, as I sat maniacally pedaling on an exercise bike, I realized that I couldn't stop until certain numbers were reached. First it was minutes, but no, the calories weren't right, then the miles were off; constantly, everything needed to be checked to be certain that I was in sync and that all was alright with my world. Numbers are so much clearer than the vague concepts I'm trying to grasp, they seem like the only thing worth holding onto at times.

So far it's a perfect fall day. So far have had a banana and some water. So far, life feel pretty good.